It's that really scary moment, the one where your heart starts to race and the panic sets in, the phone call in the middle of the night.
I've been having bad nights anyway, we're in Jerusalem at the moment for the Chagim but there are issues back in the UK which are preoccupying us and in addition my elderly,frail, recently widowed mother in law is staying with us for the duration and needs a lot of TLC.
So when the phone rang at one in the morning I got the fright of my life. It was the alarm monitoring centre to report our alarm going off at home in Manchester for the second time in a week. I had to call a friends and ask him to go out and check if everything was OK. Somehow our electric garage door had opened itself and the contents of my garage were exposed for all the world to see.
Everything got sorted, I sent my friend a thank you text and tried hard to go back to sleep, but of course it wasn't so easy and I lay awake thinking about alarms.
It's Erev Yom Kippur and all our internal alarm bells are ringing at the moment alerting us to the Awesome day ahead of us and the fact that our fates will be sealed and we are thinking of all the things we can do to change what has been decided for us. It's especially poignant for me.
Last year my husband sat with his beloved father in Shul on Yom Kippur listening to the beautiful choir at the Great Synagogue singing Unetaneh Tokef. This year we are in a different Shul, in a new neighbourhood and my father in law is not here, he passed away just before Pesach. His destiny was sealed last Yom Kippur and now we are dealing with life without him.
My alarm bells are ringing, I've done nothing about it, I've been so preoccupied with making Shabbat, Yom Tov, caring for my mother in law, having my children and grandchildren to stay so my mother in law can spend time with them, spending precious time with my youngest son who is in the IDF, that the spiritual side of things, my Teshuva has gone by the wayside. I hope that what I have done is enough, that I am forgiven for my wrongdoings and that Hashem looks favourably on me and my loved ones this year. I also pray that Hashem gives clarity of thought and wisdom to our leaders so they will open their eyes and see the truth of the evil that is taking over this world and to stop appeasing our enemies.
