The One about Gratitude

Everything that I write about is a product of my direct experience. Although I have read many books about mindfulness and healthy emotional living, I won't refer to anything unless I have practised it, internalised it or lived it. This is not a blog about theory, it's a blog about life and how I have managed to change the way I think, perceive and deal with the things are thrown at me! 

When it comes to gratitude, the last thing I want to do is preach about it, but I honestly believe that practising it on a daily basis is an essential part of a healthy emotional approach to life. 

A couple of years ago, I was having a very hard time and was on the verge of breaking down. I was under extreme stress for a variety of reasons. It got to the point where I was so low mentally that I believed that I was totally on my own with my troubles and that no one cared or was interested in helping me. At  precisely at that point,  an extremely wise and perceptive friend got involved, performed what I can only call an intervention and persuaded me to get some medical help. That worked well until I came off the medication when I thought I was strong enough and tried to go it alone. It was too soon, and I gradually spiralled back into depression and anxiety again because of the external stressors in my life. I had another crisis, and reached out to a relation who was also a life coach and counselor. He spent a lot of time supporting me and set me on the path that I still walk today. He helped me to  realise that it was not anyone's responsibility to heal me, I had to do it myself and that was the only way it could be sustained, through hard painful soul searching and the examination of my beliefs and thought processes. 

I must be very clear that the emotional problems I was suffering from were not of the clinical type, they were brought on purely by being under extreme external stress. The path that I walk is not one I would counsel anyone to take on if they have serious  mental health problems. For that, one must always seek professional help. However the journey to mindfulness worked for me. I embarked on a period of introspection, meditation and self healing. A year down the line and I can honestly say I am whole again. I must confess that I have a blip every now and again but I usually recover very quickly. 

So where does gratitude come in?  Firstly to the people who intervened out of love. I will never forget them, and will be eternally grateful. 

Secondly, when you hit rock bottom, practising gratitude teaches you that you are not unsupported even if you believe it to be true. 

So,what do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night feeling totally alone and unsupported, even if there is someone in the bed next to you? Or you feel let down by someone you thought you could count on and that leads you to the conclusion that no one cares about you? 

Breathe. Are you breathing now, or are you being breathed? If you stop breathing what happens? Your body kicks in and makes you breathe again, saving your life. So first of all your body is a most incredible support system. Even if you are ill, as long as your body breathes it is supporting you. That deserves gratitude, we should not take breathing for granted. 

Do you have a roof over your head? Many people don't.  In my work as Magistrate, I regularly come across homeless people who live on the street. So if you have a home to live in, that is something to be grateful for. 

Do you have regular meals? Can you afford to buy food? That is something to be thankful for. There are more and more people who have to rely on food banks these days. 

Do you have clean clothes to wear? There are many people who carry their possessions around in carrier bags and have no means to wash or replace them. 

Do you have someone who you care for? Even one soul that you love is something to be grateful for.  Does anyone care for you? Think about your friends or relations or both. Can you count one person who loves you? If you can, it's something to be grateful for.

Do you say thank you every time someone does something supportive for you? Do you say thank you to the Universe, or G-d or your body or whichever belief system you subscribe to when you wake up in the morning? It's an incredibly powerful thing to do. 

Whatever you give out comes back to you. Once I really started practising gratitude I was amazed at the wonderful little things that happened each day. It can be really challenging to do this to begin with especially when you feel you have nothing at all to give but a smile and a thank you costs nothing.....and it's a start.