The One about Vulnerabilty

I found myself in a very vulnerable situation yesterday. The electric roller blind on our balcony broke, leaving me trapped on the balcony for half an hour. We were about to go out and I tried to shut the blind but it got stuck. I crawled out onto the balcony through a small pace between the blind and the floor and tried to see why it was stuck. It had jammed on a chair that was too close to the window. As  I moved the chair,  the blind slammed down and hit the floor with a bang. David was on the other side of the window  in the living room and he  tried to open the blind with the switch but it wouldn't budge. I was stuck outside and the sun was beating down. He tried to open the blind manually but I t didn't work. 

So there we were, David trying to work out how to get help and me trying to stay calm because I knew that panicking would not help my situation. It was not a time for cloudy thinking! 

When you are under stress your body produces a hormone called cortisol, which is very good if you want to run away from a lion that's chasing you in the Kalahari Desert but not so good if you are trying to think logically because it causes cloudy thinking. There was nothing I could do out there but wait, shouting and banging on the blind would just bring on more stress. So I decided to sit on the floor and meditate. I focused on my breath and closed my eyes and tried to calm down. I tried to think about how things could be worse, I could be on my own, the front door could be locked, I could be without water. My phone was inside, note to self to take phone out on balcony at all times! 

Meanwhile, David had called in our neighbour. After about half an hour of pushing and pulling they managed to get a couple of screwdrivers wedged underneath the blind and then managed to force it up about one and half feet  and I had to crawl underneath to get back in the apartment. 

 

So what can you do when you feel vulnerable and have absolutely no control over your situation and are totally dependant on others to get you out. 

Accept it. There's no point in fighting a situation you can't change. You don't have to like it, you can try to get help and sort out the problem, so you can be proactive and take positive action  but don't resist it. 

If there's nothing you can do, breathe.  Take some deep breaths, then close your eyes and breathe in and out slowly, following the breath.  If you focus on the breath, you are not thinking too much and hopefully calming down. This will give you some headspace. The headspace will clear the fog and help you to think more clearly. In that space, you will be able to find solutions.

Don't blame yourself, don't beat yourself up and try not to feel ashamed. If you feel any of these emotions, accept them but don't play with the thoughts or wind yourself up, they will not change your situation and can make you feel worse. 

Out there, on the balcony in the blazing sunshine, I had a fleeting thought that I may be stuck there for a long time and I felt silly for moving the chair which allowed the blind to come slamming down. I then realised that none of these thoughts and feelings would get me off the balcony and the best thing I could do was have faith that I would be rescued and be calm so that the rescuer would be the same and therefore think more clearly.