Intentions Intentions

Intentions Intentions

In addition to embarking on a year long project to clear Physical and Emotional Clutter from my life I am also trying to make room to complete a Course in Personal Coaching, followed by courses in Mindfulness, Neuro Linguistic Programming and Reiki.  

Thats quite a tall order from myself but I need to find something to occupy my mind and a way of making a bit of income. Yet something is holding me back from completing the courses even though I want to do them and I know I’m quite capable of finishing them. Something is holding me back from printing those business cards to promote myself as a life coach. It’s nit as if I’m not good at new challenges, I decided I wanted to be a magistrate and I did it, I decided to go for being the Chair and I did it, I set myself up as freelance computer trainer and did it very successfully. So why do I feel like there is something fraudulent about becoming a life coach? Is it because I think that I won’t be as good as the others? Am I afraid of the commitment and losing my freedom  because I am working. Do I think that I won’t give people the help they need. Am I frightened of success? I really don’t know what is holding me back. I’m looking forward to finding out! 

I have all these good intentions and I don’t know if I can follow through, and I feel like I am being dishonest with myself. Hopefully I will get some clarity as I work through all these issues

So today is Day 7 of the Clearing Clutter Course and I am being asked to consider am few points 

Objects that make me feel grounded, centred and excited about the coming year. 

Well it’s not objects that excite me, it’s ideas. I am excited about the idea of exploring deeper into myself and of getting rid of objects, ideas and releasing people that drain me of energy. 

Creating a dedicated space just for me makes me feel:

Weird! Building an altar of bits of candles and photos and things that are special to me sounds distinctly pagan. I don’t do pagan. I like the idea of having a little nook in my room with a comfy place to meditate but that’s about it and I have two bedrooms, neither of which have anywhere I could make a nook. So I’ll just have to let that one go. 

Intentions for my journey (and worries)

To try and stay motivated , even when it feels impossible. 

Feeling like I am getting too much into myself at the expense of others 

Not getting too worked up if I miss a couple of days or can’t manage to journal everything 

When I consider taking a year off, just for me I feel

Selfish

No one will understand me.